From Now On!
Updated: Sep 14, 2018
As promised, I was going to explain why the song "From Now On" from The Greatest Showman really impacted me. I will explain the two sides that were impacted as this movie and song really hit me in the feels, which has revamped my whole life.
I will go into details of the movie, mainly how it got to the point of the song, so just in case, Spoiler Alert!
Part One: My Why
In the movie the main character PT Barnum, played by Hugh Jackman, inspires to start a show no one has ever seen, but while his show was succeeding, his focus to be more successful lead him to a downfall. The building where the circus performed burned down and the other act he had, quit and left him to ruins. His wife returned to her parents home, leaving him alone. In the midst of wanting more, he lost it all.
Luckily, the members of the circus came to him and reminded him why he had started on his journey in the first place. That is where the song comes in. They made him remember his "why", the reason he worked to achieve his dreams.
Believe it or not, that happened to me as well. Of course, I haven't reached success in matters financially speaking, yet, but as life continued on, my motivation to continue studying, working, even living, was fading. Nothing...no one could motivate me to go to the gym, to read my scriptures, to pray, to do my homework, to do anything.
Until two weeks ago, I finally got the courage to move and start again. Do what I needed to get motivated, and that is when I realized I had forgotten my "why". My reason I was on this journey in the first place, my reason why I was studying and working hard. It wasn't so I can be successful alone, but to be successful for my wife, my kids, and together reach our dreams. A week into my work outs, I watched this movie and this scene hit me exactly where it was supposed to hit, my heart.
Since then, I have promised myself to never forget why I grind day by day. Because when it all is completed, when I finally graduate, all the struggle would have been worth it. Because it isn't about me, it's about my family.
Part two: Spiritually
In the midst of losing my "why", I came to realize I also stopped doing the things that would spiritually fortify me. I stopped praying, reading scriptures, even caring about the sabbath. And slowly but surely, fell into a deep dark hole.
This dark hole lead me to feel hopeless. No way would I receive forgiveness for the same mistakes or sins I committed over and over again. No way would the Lord give me another chance to prove to Him I am stronger than I really am. No strength to get up...no strength to move. I had lost who "I" was... and I blamed myself for everything bad that had happened and was still occurring.
My first week of my journey back to a healthy life, I started to do those little things. I prayed, I read my scriptures, I started realizing the importance of my calling and serving the Lord with all my heart, again. I started feeling something inside me spark..not like a new spark, but something that was rekindling.
I was reminded through this movie and through my personal scripture studies, how much the Savior loves each and every one of us. How much He loves me, and how He is always willing to forgive me, as long as I keep moving. The spark grew stronger, and I felt His redeeming love hold me tight, bringing back hope, love, and peace in my heart.
Finding my "why", I also found who "I" am. "And from now on, these eyes will not be blinded by the lights. From now on, what is waiting till tomorrow starts tonight, it starts tonight! Let this promise in me start, like an anthem in my heart. From now on." - PT Barnum
And like the chorus states, and I know this to be true, by returning to the Lord and doing all that He asks, one day, "We (family) will come back home, again!"